A Gift Guide for Cultural Connoisseurs

Every friendship group has a gatekeeper; a music snob who speaks too loudly and says too little, perpetually wagging their finger in the direction of whoever is managing the aux cable. Their crinkled Cocteau Twins t-shirt reverberates like a mating call in a world that isn’t paying attention to them, and no matter how many people read their Twitter review of Triangle Of Sadness, their sadness is, well, more of a full circle.

This is a gift-giving guide for these cultural connoisseurs among us, even if it is a term they’ve appointed to themselves. Maybe the nicest thing you can do is buy them something refurbished and sustainable from Back Market; an affordable gift they’ll pretend to hate, but secretly use all the time. 

For the freelance creatives

Some cultural connoisseurs claim they work freelance, but really spend their days posting Letterboxd reviews. They’ve perfected the art of making doing little seem like doing everything. This makes a pair of refurbished Airpods Pro 2 a solid option, with these slick earphones good for perfecting that stern ‘I’m listening to something really important and in a hurry’ face.  Plus, Apple’s noise cancellation feature is the best way to distract them from giving you unsolicited opinions about what you should be doing with your own life. Your friend will thank you for it, in their own, aloof, ungrateful way… and most importantly, so will your friendship group.

For the budding film buffs

Maybe your friend is a ‘tv and movie lover’ who has watched the Sopranos 300 times, but has never seen the inside of a therapist’s office. They swear they’ve got just as much cinematic skill as Wes Anderson, but “politics got in the way” of their director career. You can pair this bunch with a refurbished Galaxy Tab A9 [£119] from Back Market’s website. This way they can pretend they’re reading an e-book about French nu-wave on public transport, when in reality they’re just watching the new Adam Curtis documentary that they’re soon going to talk at you about. Even your friend who incessantly quotes Pulp Fiction deserves a present this Christmas. And, since it’s refurbished, they can call it vintage!  

For the gaming grifters

Is your friend a gamer? If so, there’s a pretty good chance they haven’t left their bedroom since 2018. Following your dreams is for NPCs, after all. These gift recipients play life on “legendary mode” and their true call of duty is to stop ordering takeaway at 2am like it’s the middle of the day. For this friend, FIFA is their Olympics, and the remote controller is the javelin they fling at their little brother’s head for winning on penalties. When they’re not rage-quitting in Red Dead Redemption, punching the wall, or launching a full-on assault to their circadian rhythms, they’re actually very relaxed, friendly people. If you’d like to reward their dedication to staring at screens, you can buy them a refurbished Playstation 4 Slim on Back Market. All devices are restored professionally with a 25-point inspection to ensure the same performance, but with lower carbon emissions, and this means your gift recipient can continue living out their main character storyline without contributing to the planet’s growing e-waste problem. 

Last night a DJ “Saved” my playlist

An axiom of truth in modern life states “deep within every friend group is a man who thinks he is a DJ.” This friend will commandeer the decks at a party, promising they’ve learnt how to beatmatch, and every time, like clockwork, the dissonance between the start of one song and the end of another feels as piercing as the announcement of your parents’ divorce. But at least in that situation, only two people were upset. Whenever this friend gets behind the 1s and 2s, the whole room gets angry.  If you would like to look past your friend’s sonic shortcomings and embrace the Christmas spirit instead, you can gift them a refurbished pair of Beats Studio Pro Wireless headphones. That crisp bass and noise-cancelling calm soothes their need to stick their USB where it’s not wanted. 

So, if your friend is a cultural connoisseur, it’s fair to say they’ll never stop having opinions and harvesting hot takes on social media. But if you give them an ethically-sustainable, refurbished gift, then at least they can pretend it was their idea all along.