A Gift Guide for Polycules

At Backmarket we’ve long been early adopters of the alternative. We cared about sustainability long before it was cool; have helped jump start a global Right To Repair movement; and we also believe sharing is caring, even if we’re just talking about your old devices.

But depending on your love life, you might need to share a little more than that. Rumor has it some of you will be spending time under the mistletoe four – no, maybe five or more times - this year. So, here’s a gift guide for the polycule in your life. Read on for a range of gadgets, items and gizmos perfect for your abundant love nest; so you can keep your girlfriend, girlfriend’s partner, and girlfriend’s partner’s girlfriend all happy. 

iPad Air 5 and Apple Pencil

The most important part of the polycule is not trust, open communication, or a liberal attitude towards love. It is your Google calendar. Juggling your polycule can get especially tricky in the winter months, where daylight savings may often have you hibernating instead of seeing your loved one(s). But when the days roll into one, you simply must remember that planned dinner with the second boyfriend lest your love tower crumble and fall.

The best way to see a sprawling calendar? Make it supersized. That silly little iPhone screen simply isn’t big enough, and rumor has it those Ace and Tate frames you have are just aesthetic, not prescription. To make your partner scheduling large and in charge, gift your lovers an iPad Air 5 along with Apple Pencil. There’s storage options ranging up to 256gb for booking in even the most egregiously-sized love groups. And, over 10 inches of screen size make it an unavoidable reminder of all your most intimate dates. 

Blue Yeti Pro Microphone

Much of the polyclue effort is explaining to other people that it isn’t cheating. Remember the excruciating call you had to make to your nosey cousin after they spotted you with your secondary partner in the supermarket? You are cursed to do this again, and again until the day you die, or until your secondary partners shack up together and move to Berlin.

But there is another way to amplify your defense. Here we offer a microphone: the Blue Yeti Pro, equipped with crisp clear sound for less than £100. It’s pretty lightweight and can be used with a stand, so even the most weak-wristed member of the crew can use it. But it’s perfect for the countless times you’ll need to explain your love life to the rest of the population like they’re five, and brilliantly portable for whoever of you needs to defuse social outcry that week. Maybe it’s time for your polycule group to start a podcast? 

SHARK IQ Robot Vacuum AV970

If you thought the date night rota was hard, well, we won’t dare show you the cleaning one. The strength of a polycule is often in its numbers. But three (or more) is often a crowd, and with the size of your middling apartment afforded by your very average big city salary, more traffic will lead to more dirt.

But don’t worry, you don’t need to dump your third. If your partners equally hate cleaning up after multiple people, get another body in the mix. A metal one, that is: treat your polycule to a robot vacuum cleaner for speedy cleaning. We love the SHARK IQ Robot Vacuum AV970 for this. It’s wireless, energy efficient, and comes in sleek black casing for extra pizzazz.

Hisense 43 inch HD TV

Last but not least. If there is one thing the polycule will teach you it is a value most people skip over in childhood – that we need to learn to share. Witnessing a throuple perfectly navigate portions at an Asian small plates restaurant is sheerly the stuff of magic, so apply the same principle to your gifts too.

The best shared experience, we think, is movie night at home. For some low cost end of year holiday fun, pick up a TV; the Hisense 43 inch HD model goes for less than £250 if you really want to get bang for your buck. With an LED screen for crisp viewing it’s also big enough for a five way snuggle to watch Elf on the big screen. And with easy linking for WiFi, it’s the perfect way to set up that shared Netflix account for all of you – because let’s face it, even the monogamous ones are sharing those ten ways too.